Epic Fail — Nachos

Life is…

Photo by Lon Casler Bixby

I was sitting at my desk today — thinking about my work in progress, and all the creative ideas I have for future WIPs. Too many, actually. All just a jumbled mish-mash of random thoughts that drift in and out of my imagination, waiting to be captured and turned into the next great novel, but still elusive enough for me to avoid actually making any progress in doing so.

Basically, I was just day-dreaming. It was a lazy day. Cloudy, with a slight chance of rain. Just the right weather to either take a nap, or make some comfort food. I choose the latter.

Besides, it was already time for lunch. Actually, more like second breakfast. But it didn’t matter. I was hungry, and I was craving nachos — the perfect comfort food on a cloudy day.

Mmm, nachos.

Of course, I was too lazy and broke to order out. So, like I always do, I decided to make homemade nachos. Much better tasting anyway.

Blue corn chips and sharp cheddar cheese covered in salsa. Yum.

I like to keep it fairly simple, but I never do. I always have to add my own flair, or should I say — flavour? I can’t do much with the chips or cheese, so that leaves the salsa. Mmm, salsa. Salsa is what makes for fantastic nachos. And no matter which store-bought brand you prefer, they always need a little tweaking, or a lot of tweaking as the case may be.

I add my own secret blend of herbs and spices — mostly just a tonne of chili powder. And add a tonne, I did. I opened the container of salsa and spooned a lot, I mean a lot, of chili powder into it, probably half a cup or more. I like my salsa dark.

I twisted the top down on the salsa container and did the Bixby Shake.

But for some reason, in a hurry, anticipating a good meal, or something, I just didn’t screw the top down tight enough, and after a few vigorous shakes, it flew off in a spectacular fashion. Salsa and chili powder — everywhere.

What a mess. The floor, the counter, my shirt, my pants, my socks, my face, my mouth. Mmm, tasty. I turned around, and yes — I don’t know how, but it was on the floor behind me. And on the walls, the cabinets, the ceiling, and as I said — everywhere.

I even had salsa and chili powder in my butt crack.

It was definitely a catastrophic mess to clean up, but the nachos and salsa turned out great. Delicious.

Life is… Good times!

Lon Casler Bixby is a professional photographer and published author in various genres: Fiction, Poetry, Humor, Photography, & Comic Books.

You can see his writing here — www.amazon.com/author/loncaslerbixby/.

And view some of his photography here — www.whileyouweresleeping.photography/ and here — www.neoichi.com/.

And follow him on Twitter @LonBixby and Instagram @neoichi