JAMAICAN LADY: THE SCREENPLAY — A ROMANTIC COMEDY CAPER

Excerpt: Author’s Note

Cover Art by Ben Southgate

I was on a Caribbean cruise with my mum, her boyfriend, my grandmother, and… Okay, gotta’ stop here for a moment. You, the reader, may be asking yourself, “Who goes on a cruise with their mother, her boyfriend, and their grandmother?” Well, I do! And we had a great time. Granted, I was basically by myself and bored to tears the majority of the time I was on the ship — but I still had a good time nonetheless. I’m pretty sure that it would’ve been much better if my girlfriend could’ve come along, but at that point in my life I didn’t have a girlfriend, so there’s actually no point in pursuing that line of thought.

On the ship we seem to have spent an inordinate amount of time gambling, eating, drinking, eating, dancing, eating, and seeing the shows. Did I mention eating? I think we did more of that than anything else. Well, at least I know that I did — considering the fact that I don’t gamble or drink. And I didn’t see any of the shows or do any dancing because I was too busy missing my girlfriend. You know, the one I didn’t have.

Aside from eating and wandering around there was nothing else for me to do. So I tried to sleep. But the sleeping arrangements were very discombobulating (love that word). We had the cheap cabin. Four of us crammed into a closet with…